I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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