windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
how drunk are you?
Several
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
