Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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