She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
