Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
