OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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