I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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