oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My ass is underappreciated
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
