We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
