got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
