I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
