great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
