Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
