Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
