I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
