Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
