found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
