Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
