So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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