Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
