It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
