You're my little dorito
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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