the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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