dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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