i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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