if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
