Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
