I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
