We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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