is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
