38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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