im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
