What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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