why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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