he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm both gender and math confused
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
