Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize