Only a mothe r could love this liver
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
