What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
