If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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