I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
