before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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