If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
