I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
