Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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