STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
