so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
