All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
