Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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