I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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