Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
