Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Shame - the story of my life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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