Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
