I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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