so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
