dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
