shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
