we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
