arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
