She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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