Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
