You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
